Interview Jeanette Cottrell

by

Harley L. Sachs

1) Tell me about your book.

There's No Such Thing! is a fantasy novel aimed at middle school readers. It involves a dragon that gets stranded near Salem, Oregon in contemporary times, as a result of a wisky wasky's panicky call for help. Wisky waskies are the creatures that lose homework, leave water running, and pull the plug on your freezer so everything thaws into a big gooey mess before you notice it. He's invisible to people. Unless he gets seen by a certain number of people, he'll disappear forever. So.the dragon and the wisky wasky do their darndest to get noticed. A nursing home suffers strange disturbances. A classroom computer self-destructs. A very rude man suffers continual accidents with mustard, ketchup and pickle relish. Strange messages are broadcast over radio airwaves. Gina and Jay discover a surprising phenomenon. It's more fun to help people than it is to pester them. Their despair is overcome by pride and elation. The helpful and mischievous creatures change the city forever.

2) What gave you the idea for this funny book?

Long years ago, I got married and discovered I had a stepdaughter. She has since grown up and has kids of her own. We snarled at each other a lot and butted heads even more, but even when she was mad, she often astounded me with her sudden tenderness and flashes of insight. The idea for Gina, my dragon, was born then. I pictured this temperamental little dragon stranded in a city, determinedly reorganizing the world to her satisfaction. The wisky wasky came from stories my father used to tell me.

3) Do you do other kinds of humor? Tell jokes in class?

I'm a high school teacher. My students groan every time I say, “see, it's like this.” I'm known for analogies that pop up at random. Where someone else might say “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” I teach the same concept by beginning, “Pretend there's this tattoo artist.” My students groan a lot, they laugh some, and they generally remember!

4) What got you started in writing?

Whenever I get bored, I pick at notions. If I'm listening to a rambling speech, I sometimes wonder what the speaker would do if a fire-breathing dragon flew through the window. Don't we all do that, to some extent? In my case, I've been writing to my sister for two decades, and we routinely share our little what-ifs. Sometimes, a what-if turns into a story, and the story into a book.

5) What else have you published?

Dull, teacher stuff mostly, a few little articles here and there, some lesson plans.

6) What's your favorite genre and why?

I love fantasy, mystery, and science fiction. They take my brain to places it wouldn't have thought to go by itself.

7) Since yours is a kids’ book, do you also have kids at home?

I have one son entering college, and another in high school. It's a tremendous advantage to have people around who let me ask them weird questions, like “If you were a dragon.” or “If a goblin grabbed you from behind.” and such things. They're both avid game-players, as is my husband, and they're all wonderful resources.

8) What are your plans for the future, like five years from now?

Oh, I'll still be teaching full-time, and writing on the side.

9) What's your next project?

I have another young adult fantasy novel coming out in November 2003 with Wings Press, called Sliding on Rainbows. I'm currently writing an adult fantasy novel.

10) Who is your favorite author? And what do you like best about him/her?

It depends on the day! I love Anne McCaffrey for her complete and detailed worlds, C.J. Cherryh for the tension she build in a single paragraph, Norah Lofts for her complex, rounded, and ornery characters, and Dick Francis for his knack of taking me into a new craft or specialty in every book he writes.

11) What's your writing routine? Like, do you write from midnight to four AM? Before the family wakes up? Or in the school parking lot on the back of grocery charge slips? (All of these are actually practiced by some authors!)

I haul my laptop computer with me. In peaceful times, I write in the evenings, but that may well be in the waiting room at the YMCA while my son is in his fencing class. Have laptop, will write.

12) Do you write in long hand and transcribe later, or are you used to composing on a computer?

I teach computer stuff in school, so by now a keyboard is a natural extension of my brain. Also, four years as a legal secretary built up my typing speed tremendously! Sometimes I scribble on paper, but it makes me nervous. Papers get lost. My laptop doesn't.

13) What would you have liked me to ask, but I didn't?

Question: How would a dragon and a wisky wasky solve our nation's crime problem?

Answer: Both of them know the problem must be addressed one person at a time. First, the wisky wasky would do his best to discourage the would-be criminal on an individual basis by making him/her stumble, forcing his/her weapon to spit water instead of bullets, or making knives the consistency of silly putty. If this did not work, the dragon would snatch the offenders, take them to her cave and tie their tails securely to rocks. Then, being a thoughtful (though determined) creature, she would provide all of them with sufficient raw fish so that they won't be hungry while waiting for her Uncle Malcolm (General of the Dragon Patrol) to deal with them on more permanent basis.