~ Tomorrow Never Comes ~

by

Vera Berry Burrows

Joel knew he had people to see before he left the country. The rift between him and Gerry Connolly had weighed heavily on his mind. He kept a discreet silence after Gerry asked him to leave. Admittedly, he had concentrated on getting his life in order since then and with the help of DP and Mrs. DP, he had become a happier, more fulfilled person. I ought to have written to Maggie Connolly when she returned from her trip, he often told himself, but it’s difficult to find the words and I’m not sure I have the confidence to admit to my misdemeanours, especially since she was the person who showed me what a happy home was all about. His guilt was a burden on him. Gerry had not been anywhere near Casa Bellissimo in the past three years. The more the time passed, the harder it was to build bridges.

Then there was Belinda. What had happened between them was a huge mistake and he had handled it badly. He had no idea if she’d had the baby, or if she had chosen not to continue with the pregnancy. He wouldn’t blame her if that was the road she had taken. And Ben? He was so in love with Bel, Joel hoped he had managed to find happiness with her.

He stood outside the shop. His thoughts were running riot. What if they refuse to see me? I couldn’t blame them. The worst scenario would be for them to tell me to get lost and never show my face in Princes Park again. Well, I can handle that, I think. I wouldn’t like it, but at least I would have tried to put things right. With fear and trepidation, he opened the shop door.

Maggie was behind the counter sorting out the cigarettes on the shelves. “My goodness, is it really you, Joel? I must say you look well, lad.”

“Hello, Maggie,” he said sheepishly. “I really don’t know what to say. It’s been so long.”

“Come on upstairs, lad. I’ll get Josie to take over here. She’s my new assistant. Our Chrissie’s married now and due to give birth anytime so I’ve had to get help with the shop.”

“Wow! You a grandma! It’s hard to believe,” Joel said, delighted that Maggie hadn’t asked him to leave as soon as he had shown his face in the shop.

“I’ll put the kettle on and then you can tell me what’s been happening. How’s your Gran, by the way?”

Joel decided that honesty was the best policy. “She passed away last week, Maggie, but I must tell you that I wasn’t living with her. I never went to live with her. That story was Gerry’s way of protecting you from the truth.”

Maggie smiled. “I knew it wasn’t the truth, but God bless ’im, he never strayed from the story. I could see the hurt in ’is eyes very time your name cropped up, so eventually we stopped wondering how you were going on.”

“I don’t blame you for that. I suppose you know that Belinda was pregnant?” Joel said.

“Oh yes. Ben’s little girl! She’s a little beauty, I believe. They went to live in Bolton as soon as they were married. Apparently, Ben had a flat there so they didn’t have to find somewhere to live,” Maggie told him. “What a lovely couple they make. Ben worships the two of them, Gerry says.”

Joel hoped he’d hidden his shock. “Oh yes, I can imagine that they’d be very happy together. And what about Gerry and Penny?”

“They’re as ’appy as pigs in muck. They’re engaged and saving up to get married. Maybe next year when Gerry’s got ’is diploma. He went to tech to qualify as an electrician. He was top student last year when he got ’is ONC. He wants to get ’is HNC before he can settle down. I’m very proud of ’im.”

“And so you should be,” Joel told her. “I let you all down, I know that and I shall regret that for as long I live.”

He explained to Maggie that he had been hoodwinked by Ray Greenwood and had briefly dabbled with the drug culture that was rife in the world of entertainment. “Gerry found out what I was doing and asked me to leave before you returned from your trip. I don’t blame him. I would have done the same if the tables had been turned.” He left out the details of his dalliance with Belinda. He decided it would merely shatter her illusions and would further interfere with the lives of those he wished all the luck in the world.

“Well, so long as you’re okay now, lad,” Maggie said affectionately, “no harm done.”

“Thanks, Maggie. I appreciate that. Do you think Gerry will see me?” he asked tentatively.

“I’ll tell ’im you’ve been and I’ll leave it up to ’im. I can’t do more than that, lad,” Maggie informed him gently.

“I leave on the sixth—Thursday week. I’ll give you my number, well, DP’s number. He’s my tutor and he took me in when I was pretty well as far down as I could go.” Joel scribbled the number on a cruise line card he had in his pocket. “That’s the ship I’ll be on, The Queen of the Pacific.”

“Looks great,” Maggie said and she gave him a motherly hug as he left. “Thanks for coming to see us, Joel, and good luck. I hope it goes well for you.”

Joel wondered whether or not he should call on Ben and Belinda when he went to visit his mother. The fact that he was the father of a little girl made him feel guilty, but he knew Ben would be a good daddy. He could decide what to do once he was in Bolton and, in the meantime, he had a lot to organise.

He called his mother early on the Saturday morning before he was due to leave on the following Thursday. “I thought I’d come over tomorrow,” he suggested.

“What?” Nell croaked. Saturday mornings never found her at her best.

“I said I would like to come tomorrow. We can go to lunch at The Swan. It will be the last time for a few months,” Joel reminded her.

“I asked you to give me a couple of days notice, Joel,” she complained. Her head was aching, her mouth was dry and the mere mention of food made her want to retch.

“I thought I’d call in on Ben too,” he informed her.

Nell felt instantly agitated. “Oh, I wouldn’t do that. You haven’t seen him for years and that awful mother of his might be there. I wouldn’t like you to come into contact with her...”

“Mother!” Joel exclaimed. “What’s up with you? Ben doesn’t have anything to do with his mother. He never did, so I can’t see how that will have changed.”

“But it might have changed, you never know,” Nell stated emphatically.

“Why would you be so concerned about it now? You always hated the woman. Anyway, I’m a big boy now and if she did happen to be there, which I very much doubt, I can handle it. If you’re bothered about her being a prostitute, then don’t be. I knew about all that when I was at school. It didn’t worry me then and it doesn’t worry me now.”

“I just think you ought not to be around such women. It isn’t healthy.” She needed to convince Joel that he should not be where Connie Mason might be. The woman was capable of divulging information that Nell didn’t want to become common knowledge.

“Well, I’ll meet you at The Swan at one o’clock. Please call to book a table. They’ll be busy at Sunday lunchtime,” he instructed.

When she replaced the receiver, Nell had sobered up considerably. The very idea of Joel finding out about such nights as the one when Connie Mason had plied her wares in Nell’s home was a very sobering thought. She had to stay off the wine and prepare to meet her son the next day.

Mrs. DP lent Joel her Mini Minor to drive to Bolton so he didn’t have to worry about Sunday train services. When he arrived at The Swan, his mother was already there. Nell had made a special effort with her appearance before she met Joel for lunch.

“You’re looking better, Mum, better than when I last saw you. I think Granny’s funeral must have taken more out of you than you wanted to admit,” he told her.

“Maybe,” Nell conceded, allowing her son to presume that time was healing wounds. “It’s surprising what a bit of time and Max Factor can do for a woman.”

Small talk had never been easy between them, but today they each determined they would keep the conversation sociable. “How’s work?” Joel asked. “And what happened to that Doctor Flynn?”

Nell shivered. “He left,” she said as calmly as possible.

“I thought you liked him.” Joel vaguely recalled the telephone conversation when his mother had sounded as high as a kite.

“I did,” she said, trying desperately to keep in control of her emotions. “But these things happen. You know all about broken romances, don’t you?”

Joel grinned. “Well, I guess so. Who’s your boss now?”

Nell breathed in deeply. “I don’t work there anymore. They changed the whole system and I hated it. I’ll find something else. I have money in the bank and Granny’s will still hasn’t been read. I’ll be all right until I find another job.”

“That’s good then,” Joel agreed and Nell visibly gave a sigh of relief. At least she need not admit she had been fired.

“Did you think about going to see Ben?” she enquired, keeping her voice as light as she was able.

“Yes, I thought about it, but we had words when we last saw each other. Did I tell you he worked in Liverpool for a while? However, we didn’t part on good terms. I think if I went to see him now, it would only open up old wounds, so I’ve decided not to bother. Maybe when I’ve done this trip, I’ll think about it then.”

Nell sighed again. Whatever had caused the rift between Joel and Ben didn’t interest her. She was happy to know that Connie Mason would not have the opportunity to tell her secrets.

The visit to see Nell had gone more smoothly than he could have imagined and when they said their goodbyes, he felt he might now embark on his new career with a light heart.

Maybe she has changed after all, he thought as he drove back to West Derby. And about time, too.

When Thursday came, the Powell household was full of excitement. Joel had stacked his luggage in the hall the night before and they had a very early breakfast since he had to be at Queen’s Dock by seven-thirty. DP and Joel loaded the cases into the car and returned to the kitchen where Mrs. DP was clearing away the breakfast things.

“You don’t mind if I don’t come to the docks?” she asked Joel for the umpteenth time.

“Of course not,” Joel reassured her. “Saying goodbye isn’t easy, even though I’m leaving for the best possible reason.” He gave her a hug. “Thank you for putting up with me. I could never have survived without you and DP.”

Mrs. DP sniffed loudly. “Oh, look what you’ve done now,” she cried, wiping away her tears with her apron. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to be waving you off on the dockside. Off you go now before I flood the kitchen.”

Joel held her closely and momentarily thought he hadn’t done the same when he left his mother. “I’ll write,” he called as the car drew away.

With his luggage safely stored in his cabin and his fond farewells imparted to DP, Joel leaned on the rail looking down as his tutor cum guardian waved enthusiastically.

“Break a leg!” DP called in true theatrical fashion and Joel nodded animatedly. The ship’s siren sounded loud and long and the big engines of The Queen of the Pacific shuddered into life. Shouts and cheers echoed from the quayside and almost in the slow motion of dreamlike action, Joel heard a voice from his past.

“G-o-o-d l-u-c-k, P-o-s-h-m-a-n!” Then more urgently, “Send us a postcard, you young scally.”

Joel jumped up and down in delight. He’d have leapt over the rail if he could, but he shouted at the top of his voice, “Thanks, Wacker! Thanks!” and tears prevented him from saying more. He waved until Gerry, Penny, Maggie and Chrissie, together with his beloved DP, were tiny dots in the distance.