Kate Randsome held her emotions in tight control as she searched the farm for Michael. He was not in the house, where a peach pie, cooking for supper, scented the air. Not in the cotton fields where several acres of the fluffy white stuff reached verdant arms to the sky for sustenance. As she searched, apprehension chewed at the bonds holding her emotions in check. Michael had not left the farm. She would find him soon. At last, she found him in the barn mucking out the stall that belonged to the one mule that they managed to keep. Watching him from the doorway, she felt panic welling up. She shook her head to clear away the unwanted feeling, then stepped further into the barn. Michael didn’t look up from his task. Her feet had made hardly a sound on the hard packed earthen floor.

Maintaining her outward calm she spoke, “Michael, we have to git married right away”. Knowing that it was the wrong way to go about this all important conversation, but unable to lead up to it more gracefully.

He looked up, startled, then smiled the beautiful smile that she so loved. His face was red from exertion. Sweat ran in rivers from his hairline. Even on this early spring evening, the temperature inside the barn was stifling. Though he was smiling, there was a look in his eyes that made her throat go dry, but when he spoke his voice was loving and gentle.

“My darling, I thought we agreed to wait until we have some money so we can make the wedding the most special day of our lives. Cain’t you wait a few more months, my greedy girl?”

She tried desperately to hold on to her outwardly calm appearance; though her heart was beating so hard she was surprised he couldn’t hear it. She must persuade him. The alternative was too painful to contemplate. Her entire future balanced on the outcome of this conversation.

“Yes, we did, but I’m going to have a baby. We have to git married right away. Everyone will be counting on their fingers as it is because we’ll be getting married so sudden. Don’t you want our child to be born in wedlock?”

His face went a peculiar shade of white under his tan. He staggered back, his eyes skittering from side to side. His hands convulsed on the handle of the shovel he held and the knuckles turned white.

Seeing his reaction, Kate’s knees started shaking under her skirt. Her palms were suddenly sweaty. She rubbed them against her skirt and moistened her dry lips. An edge of panic crept into her voice.

“Michael, you swore you loved me and that we would be married. We have to marry now instead of waiting for the crop to be picked. Tell me you’ll go to Reverend Thatcher and arrange for the wedding.”

He finally focused his eyes on her. The stranglehold on the shovel loosened and he tossed it aside. His beautiful smile bloomed across his face and he came swiftly forward to hold her tightly in his arms. Relief flooded through her at his next words.

“Of course I will, darling. I was just so startled for a minute there. Go on back to the house now. When I come to dinner tonight we’ll tell George our good news. I’ll go talk to Reverend Thatcher right now and arrange for the date. I love you, dearest girl.”

After planting a swift kiss on her lips, Michael walked out of the barn and Kate went back to the house. The rest of that afternoon her heart brimmed with happiness. Michael would marry her. The relief was enormous. She took special pains with the food for dinner that night because she knew she would remember it always. She hummed little melodies as she went about her work.

When George came in for dinner, he immediately noticed the silver candelabra that she had unearthed from an old trunk and placed on the table to give it a more festive appearance. Sniffing at the fragrant cooking smells, he looked at Kate and laughed.

~ Kate's Pride ~

by

Renee Russell

“Let me guess. Michael has finally asked to marry you and there’s a wedding in the future.”

Excitement shone from Kate’s cornflower blue eyes like the flames of two brightly burning candles. She almost danced around the kitchen. “Oh George! Michael and I are going to be married right away. He’s gone to talk to Reverend Thatcher about the date.”

“Well, I’ll be glad to welcome Michael to the family, he’s a fine man and he’s really been a big help with the cotton. I’m glad the two of you are getting married, but why the rush? You should wait until the cotton crop is picked. Then we’ll have a little money and I can give you away with a little style.”

Kate looked out across the field in the direction that Michael should be returning, but saw no sign of him. She didn’t want to tell George the news without Michael beside her.

“Kate? Did you hear me? Why the rush?”

“We’re just so much in love that we don’t want to wait any longer. I’m glad that you approve. I cain’t imagine what’s keeping him. I reckon we’ll have to start eating without him or everything’ll get cold.” A half-truth sat better on her conscience than a lie. She wanted Michael standing next to her, standing up to George and proclaiming his love for her, when George found out about the baby.

They sat down to eat, George talking on and on about the cotton and how he thought they might get a little more ahead this year because Michael had been around to help plant a larger crop. He made plans for planting even more next year because he knew for sure now that Michael would still be here.

Kate couldn’t focus on George’s conversation. The delicious food she had prepared with such joy stuck in her throat and tasted like sawdust. Where was Michael? He should have been here long before now. She began worrying that something had happened to him. Imagining that a wild dog had attacked him and he lay bleeding and alone in the woods nearby. Or maybe he had fallen and had a broken leg and was waiting patiently for help to arrive. She shook her head to clear away the unwanted images.

Finally George noticed she wasn’t paying attention to him and said, “Where the devil is Michael? He couldn’t possibly still be at Reverend Thatcher’s. It’s after nine!”

“I’m sure he just got held up somewhere,” she replied evasively. “He’ll be here soon. Why don’t you go on to bed? You have to be up with the sun tomorrow morning. We’ll just celebrate tomorrow night instead.”

She spoke in a positive tone to her brother, but doubt was creeping slowly along the pathways of her mind. What could be keeping Michael so long? Please, God, let him come home soon. She would never doubt him again, in all her life, if only he would walk through the door and smile at her right now. She looked hard at the door, as if by concentrating all her thoughts on it would make Michael appear there. George’s edgy tone broke into her concentration.

“Well, It just seems awful peculiar to me. Michael’s never missed dinner before. And he has to get up just as early as I do. Humph! You just tell him not to be trying to sleep late in the morning. I hope he’s not going to expect anything to be different just because he’s going to be my brother-in-law.”

She knew he meant that last part to be a joke, but, suddenly, she just wanted him out of the room. She felt a chill begin around her heart and knew that George would pry the truth out of her if he had any idea that she was upset. She promised to pass along the message and he finally went to his room.

She went out onto the porch and sat in a rocking chair to wait, keeping her lonely vigil through the long, dark hours of the night. Relentlessly she pushed away the buzzing thoughts that swarmed through her mind, accusing her of being the worst kind of fool. When the sun began to paint the eastern sky a gentle pink, she knew without a doubt that Michael was gone. He had run off so he wouldn’t have to marry her.

Running down the porch steps and across the yard, she sought a place to hide from her brother. He would be full of questions that she didn’t want to answer and some that she couldn’t answer. As she ran, all the hounds of Hell snapped and snarled at her heels and the roar of Hellfire echoed in her head like maniacal laughter.

~ * ~

She stayed hidden until the sun began to kiss the horizon, nursing her pain like an injured animal gone to earth. Hiding while visions of horror paraded across her mind. She had broken the rigid moral code of society. As soon as her shame became known, she would begin to pay for the rest of her life. She would be outcast by everyone. She knew that George was probably already worried about her. If she didn’t show up soon he would be frantic. With reluctant steps, she went home to face him.

“Where the Hell have you been?” George shouted as soon as he saw her coming across the yard. “I’ve been worried sick all day. Michael’s not here either. I thought the two of you had run off together! Just took off and left me with the burden of this miserable farm all on my own!”

He was worried about being stuck with the farm. Kate couldn’t help it. She burst into hysterical laughter, then began crying at the same time. George was aghast. She could see that he didn’t have any idea what to do, but she couldn’t seem to control herself. She stumbled into the house, found the sofa and managed to sit down. George came to sit next to her, putting his arm around her, concern in his eyes.

“What’s the matter, Kate? Has something happened to Michael? Is that it? Please calm down and talk to me. You’re scaring me to death!”

As she continued to laugh and cry hysterically, he lost patience and shook her roughly by the shoulders. Her head snapped back and forth. She lost her breath for a minute, then was finally able to control herself. Drawing air deep into her lungs, she told him, “Michael’s gone. I don’t know where. I only wish that I did.”

“What?” George looked shocked. “He’s gone?” Then in a bewildered tone, “But I thought the two of you were gittin’ married.

She had no choice but to tell him. “No, George. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. I couldn’t tell you last night because I wanted Michael to be with me when you found out. I’m going to have his baby. That’s why there was going to be a rushed wedding. I guess he just couldn’t face what’s happened and that’s why he left.”

The shocked disbelief on his face weighed on her already raw heart. They’d been through so much together and now he had to handle this. He’d had to become a man overnight when their parents died. Now at nineteen, he was shouldering the burden of trying to bring the once fertile acres of their land back to something that would produce a living for the two of them. She was afraid he would break under the strain of what she had told him.